Vulnerability

Vulnerability – This is a big topic, but here are my thoughts. First off, it’s scary. Why? It’s perceived as a weakness. Why? Because it’s admitting you’re not OK with something. But why is that not OK? I think it’s down to our good old friend (some old friends aren’t really friends are they?) FEAR. Fear of judgement, fear of rejection, fear of the information being used against you, fear of not being understood. Plus a lot of other fears I can’t even think of. The problem with the ego is that it’s a tangled web of beliefs, most supporting each other and the ego’s job is to protect us from hurt. The key question is ‘Why?’. Trust is obviously involved with all of the above fears. It’s OK to be vulnerable with someone you trust as you’re confident that none of those fears will happen. With a not so close friend/colleague it’s a bit trickier, we don’t really talk about deep stuff (i.e. feelings) because of the uncertainty around how it will be perceived and how it may come back on us. And then we get to being vulnerable with strangers, that’s a big No No, even more so with the anonymity/non accountability of the internet. There is so much publicity around cyber bullying, threats, racism/sexism/homophobia/religion. The key to breaking down all of the above is to be open and honest. It’s not a flick of the switch, it’s baby steps. It’s learning that it’s OK to not be OK. It’s owning it and taking responsibility. It’s allowing others to react however they want and not taking that on board (that’s easy, right???). And by doing this you get to live a life of authenticity, connecting with others on a deeper level. Most of us are scared to speak out but it’s liberating when someone actually takes that step, I’m sure most of us sit back with admiration at the bravery. Now, I’ve used the third person you/we/us but I’m actually talking about me.