Confrontation

Confrontation. I’ve realised that I avoid it. Well, I always knew that, so now what?

It seems that the confrontationalists love this current scenario, and the ‘system’ supports it. I’m not a fan of fear or being told what to do. This is where we’re at. Control. I’m even doubting my ability to make decisions. I know I’m happy living the life I want to live, ordinarily this works as I can avoid the fear mongers. 

I’ve realised that because I feel judged then I judge. Or at least prepare a response for being judged. I’ve become very defensive, I anticipate conflict so prepare a response. Walks and runs are tiring emotionally as I’m anticipating a negative response. 

I’m realising more and more that I need to trust myself. I’ve tried to avoid media but it’s impossible. There will be a new world coming out of this and I’m excited. Everything happens for a reason and the reason is conciousness. 

Problem is that I give too much power to what other’s think, even random strangers. That means I’m not confident within myself. Frustrating.