The Dragonfly. Wow, this has been an interesting six months. So much has changed since my sadness post. It was an appropriate pause and sadness has been an ongoing theme throughout. Grief and loss linked to quite a few situations. It’s easier to be angry and frustrated but they’re not productive.
I’ve gone through a range of emotions, as I’m sure the whole world has. I’ve left it too long to put this down in words but that’s a pattern of mine, lots of thinking but no action. It’s like a break from running, there’s anxiety about restarting, will I be able to still run? I guess the same applies here, will I still be able to write? Will I be able to express myself or will it just be a confising mess of words? The anxiety around restarting is always much bigger than the reality. Of course I can run, of course I can write. Think less and do more!!
Anyway, the dragonfly. It’s my spirit insect and has guided me well. Lately I’ve been seeing more and more which is always a sign that I’m on the right path. Yesterday I had a new experience which has prompted me to restart my blog.
I was out kayaking in the bay on a calm and sunny evening. Near the end I spotted bubbles in the water and went to investigate. It was a dragonfly that had obviously misjudged the waves and was drowning. I circled back and tried a couple of times to lift it out with my paddle, it kept falling back into the sea when the water would run off. Third time lucky! It’s obviously struggling so I aim to try and get back to shore to put it somewhere safe to recover. This is pretty tricky when I had to keep the left end of the paddle horizontal. I manage to use the right end but obviously end up going round in circles. I start to paddle using my left hand and eventually make it back to shore. I place my paddle so that it remains horizontal and go to stand up. With that the dragonfly has recovered enough and decides to takes off, one of the four wings takes a bit of time to work properly but eventually it sets off towards the sun. My job is done! I look back over my shoulder and away from the sun to be rewarded with a stunning rainbow.
There are signs everywhere and beauty in everything. It has been a choice to focus on the negative and what I’ve lost or can’t have. It’s a reminder that life is fragile, sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in emotions. It’s all short term, life is short and there is so much to be grateful for.
My Inner Self 