Breathe!

Wow, another couple of months has come and gone. I’ve thought a fair bit about writing but, as is the norm, the longer it goes on, the harder it is. So, here I am….

Breathing. Something that is unconcious and super easy. In theory. It’s been a topic that’s been on my mind for quite a while now and I’ve experienced first hand how difficult it sometimes is. The times are when things are out of my control, when there’s fear, when I’m thinking too much, when I’m outside my comfort zone(s). Shallow breathing always leads to anxiety/shortness of breath and this then causes panic.

A recent example is swimming. I’ve been practicing swimming in the pool (I can see, it’s warm, it’s flat) and I’d got my breathing under control enough to swim fairly consistently. I then had to train in open water due to having my first triathlon event a couple of weeks ago. The first attempt didn’t go well, a combination of cold, murky, wavy water stopped my ability to breathe normally and I ended up panicking. A couple more attempts and it improved alot. I learnt that I couldn’t control the temperature/waves and that it was OK to be swimming through seaweed/grass. It was all about taking power back, controlling the mind. ANother day the water was calmer, I could see better and managed a proper swim.

The day of the triathlon came and I went back to square one, it was cold and I couldn’t see. I had to swim with my head above the water. I panicked again. Now, the way to overcome it is to practice, so I continue to practice in a warm, calm pool where I can see. It’s my comfort zone and the open water still has power over me. But, I’m aware and I will face my fears.

Breathing has also come up in daily life, again when there is unknowns, fears, overthinking. I’ve experienced it whilst trying yoga, that’s supposed to calm right? Not when the brain is analysing everthing. There have been a few life situations where I can feel my breathing go shallow. It really is interesting to witness/experience and then go back to what the triggers are. It would be great to breathe regardless of what was happening externally, that takes practice and bravery to push the boundaries of what is comfortable and also let go of control of external.