Invisible

I’ve decided to make an effort in surrounding myself with positive (reading/listening/people) rather than the media. It really does make a difference. What I focus on determines my mood, outlook and optimism.

I’ve always been pretty inconsistent with who I am. If I walk into a room of sad people I’ll act/be sad to fit in, in fear of standing out, being different, being judged, being misunderstood, having to justify my difference. Consistency is key, or at least feeling what ‘I’ want to feel. Conversely, it’s OK for me to be sad when surrounded by happy people.

Fear continues to play a big part in my life, it’s a challenge!! The key for me is to acknowledge it but not let it control me. It might not be big steps but it’s the small things that prove that fear isn’t real.

Going back to the topic, I sometimes listen to music when I’m walking but yesterday something told me to listen to a motivational podcast (on my walk after writing my blog). It happened to be Jim Carrey and he had alot of good things to say. The one thing that stood out for me was this:

Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.

Now this relates to what I wrote about yesterday and what I wrote above, acceptance. I’ve come a long way in trusting myself, making my own rules up and living my life the way I want to live it. I’ve given up trying to explain/justify myself to those who don’t get it. I accept that everyone is entitled to live the life that they want, as I am. It’s therefore been a massive challenge with what’s happened in the last 18 months. It’s hard to be ‘me’ when there is so much fear and so many rules (as it is for most people).