Authenticity Vs. Belonging. I’ve been listening to podcasts lately and I found this to be an interesting topic.
I (we) as humans are built to belong, and we seek it out at every opportunity, whether that be religion, sports team, interests, career and so on. Social media has amplified this and it’s now 24/7 (if you let it).
So, what happens if I’m honest (authentic)? I fear rejection, judgement, isolation, conflict, and even punishment at the moment. The pandemic has really highlighted some interesting aspects of society, all of which I can’t control. Each time I start to think about what’s wrong with the current situation I have to remind myself that I have to just look at myself.
I found the quote from Brene Brown and it’s appororiate to my topic. Self acceptance is the reward for being authentic.
Now, the fear. I was an extremely shy child/young adult with zero confidence or belief in myself. I avoided pretty much everything for fear of hurt. It was a lonely place. Over time, I learnt to trust myself and my voice. Moving to a new country meant that I had zero connections and had to work hard to build friendships, it was a growth period in my life and I’m grateful that I persisted. Now, here I am again at another crossroads, either I trust myself and potentially ‘lose’ ‘friends’, keep quiet (i.e. not be authentic), or lie to ‘fit in’. Now there are lots of ‘quoted’ words there, the one I’ll focus on is ‘friends’. Going back to the old social media chestnut, in my view it’s not a community so why am I afraid to be cast out? Who are my true ‘friends’, certainly not the ones listed on my facebook page. Yes, I get on with them and have a connection but why should I worry about their opinion or reaction? What have I got to lose? I sacrifice ‘self’ for belonging. The fear is that I’ll go back to the child/young adult scenario, but the realisation that I’m a completely different person gives me faith that the feeling will not be the same.
And this is not about people who don’t agree with me, for me it’s about acceptance. I accept people for the choices they make and I expect the same in return. Pre pandmemic this wasn’t an issue but now it is. But that’s my choosing and I need to be brave to be me and be OK with the consequences. To be authentic and honest is to be free.
My Inner Self 