Avoidance

I know I have a lot to say about a lot of things really, lots of thoughts to share and reflect on. I’ve been doing the classic ‘do anything other than what I know is good for me’.

I’m very good at keeping my physical discipline, exercising every day and setting targets/goals to keep me moving and motivated. I need to do the same thing with the mental side of my life as I know that writing is a good outlet. I know that I will grow from doing it.

I think about it daily, each morning I get up and say to myself ‘today is the day’, and each day I manage to avoid doing it. This leads to frustration with so many things that I want to write about, it just gets too much and too hard to just get started.

I’m definitely different in that I self censor way too much and ‘fear’ what society will think and how they will judge me. I know this was an old pattern that I thought I had overcome but it’s reared its head again after the last few years. I’ve given my power away.

I listen to various podcasts which gives me lots of thoughts to follow up on and the inspiration that if they can do it then so can I. I still feel as though it’s dangerous to think and believe differently in the modern society. The media (social included) is very black and white. It’s really quite frustrating that I’ve got to where I’m at, something that I’ve managed to create!

I’ve had quite a few ‘false restarts’ with my posts. Let’s hope that I can persevere and push past the fear